HHCC vs Chesham

After last week's grim procession, a very different match to follow. But victory still eludes the Heath. The news that I was to captain the team was greeted, perhaps unsurprisingly, with glorious sunshine, and after Capper lost the toss (he was delegated Chief Leadership Vision Strategist whilst I retained the role of On-Field Executive Decision-Maker and Management Facilitator) we were invited to bat first.

Capper drives

With the sun beating down, the outfield fast, and the pitch playing flat and true (Mikey explained something technical about mid-week watering and sunshine) Haddock and Capper got us off to an absolute flier. The Chesham attack was not a bad one at all, but the one iffy ball an over was punished mercilessly as the pair motored along at just shy of 7 an over. Capper timed some glorious strokes that raced between mid-on and mid-wicket, whilst Dom was severe on the short ball and played several hugely impressive lofted drives either side of mid-on. The introduction of legspin from both ends slowed things down a notch, before, the very ball after the drinks break, Dom was caught and bowled for 73 (triple juggled) by the leggie from the Plough End.

Textbook stuff from Shrimpie

Shrimpie, Nicko and Harry continued the controlled carnage, while Capper was dismissed two runs short of what would have been a fine hundred – the other leggie clinging onto a stinging return catch low down. It was still an excellent innings and the bedrock of an impressive total of 259.

Capper superbly caught by the bowler (great photo too!)

After tea (and some first class chicken tikka sandwiches from Nicko) it was time to see what the Heath could do with the ball. Before we even made it to the field though, problems struck. Suffering from dizziness, Atif was driven home by his mate Shaz, who promised to return with another of his mates. That neither of them reappeared left us very light on bowling, but hopefully Atif is ok!

Fronting up to adversity like all great captains (or something like that) I decided to bowl the second over, from the Plough End, and was instantly rewarded with a double wicket maiden. Jez struck in his second over and I again in the fourth to leave Chesham in tatters at 7 for 4. From there Chesham had no option but to shut up shop. With the pitch flat and increasingly slow, no turn, seam or swing to speak of, and faced with a Chesham middle order prepared to graft hard, the match petered out into a dull draw. Everybody barring Capper turned their arm over, and I set some increasingly ludicrous fields (three short mid-wickets anyone?) but it was all to no avail, as Chesham finished 7 down, and the Heath's season remains winless.

Me bowling (note the Stop HS2 sign in the background)

Special thanks for their stints as substitute fielders must go to Ritchie Austin and the supremely energetic Stanley Burgham, who put many of his seniors to shame despite having already played a match for his own club that morning. Much more sensibly, I was in the pub at the time, watching a glorious Ian Bell cover drive...

HHCC vs Gamecox

An Ex-Chairman writes...

Michael Simkins in his book on village cricket, The Last Flannelled Fool (available from Telegraph Books - any chance of a free copy?) asserted that the game of cricket’s soul abides on our village greens. However, maybe not in the middle of August when our captain is arranging the composition of the side from Croatia, the best batsman is away, camping (enough said), the purveyor of spin and insight is unavailable (also camping [against his will – Ed.]) and everyone else seems to be away with Mummy, Daddy and Ryan Air.

For the first time for a long while, the Heath were a bit short not just from Stanley Burgham making his debut (and a very good one, too), but because of a few late drop-outs. In all honesty, most of the players are very good at phoning an apology, but it must be said there is nothing more frustrating than expecting someone who doesn’t appear and keeps his phone switched off. Anyway, 7 originals plus the aforementioned Stanley, the captain’s brother-in-law and the ex-chairman who only came to report the demise of the mower, made up to a creditable 10. Ben Sonley kindly stood around as eleventh man, didn’t bat, had his tea and left for his radio show at 5.00!

Peter Cox won the toss and inserted the Heath, never a good thing for us. Mike, the groundsman, came back early from his holiday to present a very good pitch and we were off. Shrimpy and Dom looked very good, hitting several boundaries until Shrimpy was out to a “pearler” even Anderson would have been proud of, and Dom followed soon after. To the wicket strode Nick, father of Stanley, and murderer of short bowling. Firstly Liam and then Spencer gave him support as he laid in to their bowling. Liam, one short of his best score, and Spencer with a solid 20, led to the ex-chairman battling to survive up one end, while Nick treated the same bowling with disdain. Maybe by fate, a severe calf injury left him anchored to the crease with a runner but just as brutal. 89 runs with 3 sixes was a great return. Next in was Jeremy who again made the bowling look easy and scored a fine 50. Up the other end, the bowling seemed much more difficult, although 27 not out, gives the senior Capper a better average than junior but slightly less runs (609 less)!

236 for 5 off 37 overs was a good score but the tea was even better. Excellent sandwiches, dreamy chocolate, ginger and fairy cakes, melon, strawberries and sausages, hopefully, would dull the Gamecox’s batting. Thank you ladies.

Down to 9 fielders, young Josh agreed to help us out and later took a stunning catch at mid-wicket. After a fast start from the opposition, Jeremy bowled really well and accurately as did Richard Austin, our captain for the day.

Richard then rang the changes with Liam, David and Spencer all bowling creditably. Gradually the score crept up with a good second wicket partnership and with 6 an over needed off the last 17 overs it could have been a close game. However an excellent catch by Liam and some great bowling by Jeremy (4 for 48), Richard (2 for 40) and Shrimpy, slowed things down and at the end Gamecox were struggling. 209 for 7 and a tense final over saw the game to a close. Actually, after the struggle for players at the start, there was some very good cricket. The fielding was very good indeed with Shrimpy, Spencer, Liam, Dom, Josh and Stanley the main men.

Simkins says “Faith is what’s required in village cricket, faith that the sun will come out, faith that the opposition will turn up (or all of the agreed players for our side), faith that their best batsman will nick an edge (and walk!) and faith that the game won’t disappoint.” This game was, actually, of a high standard, in spite of being a tricky time of year and Josh, Stanley and Ben should be congratulated for making a game out of what could have been a disappointing day.

HHCC vs Ballinger

An ex-Chairman writes...

Ballinger is always a challenge and engenders a fair degree of rivalry. The Heath have been on the winning side for the last few years but Ballinger have more resources to call on and had a strong team. Hyde Heath didn’t have the strongest fielding side either with a positive rush to field at slip for the first over, bowled by us fielding first again. Despite some good bowling their opener, Humphreys, made 81 perhaps with a bit of luck here and there, while the rest of the side made enough runs to reach a total 205 for 8 - increased by a crucial 10 off the last over before tea which seemed to be infringing on overtime!! Perhaps we need a bigger clock! The score was inflated by the fastest outfield we’ve had for some years so it was “gettable”.

An excellent tea as ever from Mrs Cousins and Mrs Barnsley received with thanks by 22 players and 2 dogs.

Our innings started brightly on a tricky pitch with Henry and Dominic putting on 50 before Dominic gave some catching practice. Henry and James looked very composed, with Henry hitting some glorious straight drives. James was a trifle unlucky to be out LBW but Henry kept on going, reaching 81.

Cue a collapse against some fairly ordinary leg-spin bowling. Does it remind you of anything? In spite of suggestions of Warne-like turn (there wasn’t) the next 6 wickets fell for 20 runs, mostly by batsman who should be making appointments at Spec-Savers. From looking like winning, we looked like losing again, until Jeremy and Alastair came together with 9 wickets down. They batted beautifully together and scored 39 runs between them and almost sneaked a win, being exactly 10 runs short! Honour saved. Hyde Heath always enjoy the “third” result and, by 9.00 in the Plough, it was heralded as a definite “Winning Draw”.

One little plea from me about umpiring and it’s not about LBW decisions. I do think it’s very difficult to ask youngsters to officiate and it might be better if they don’t get subjected to pressure from their own or the opposition players, but the decision causing the most irritation is regarding wide balls. It seems youngsters and some older players call a wide for a ball that could be hit “by a normal cricket shot”, presumably because they only watch 20/20 cricket. Bowlers have a rough time as it is and wides irritate! Even worse, it makes retaliation inevitable, “They gave them, therefore I will”. Obviously, be honest in all your decisions but 2 inches outside leg isn’t a wide, even Charlie Samuels can hit those, depending on the definition of “normal”.

Editor's note: Here, here! If people start widing anything down the leg side, my overs will never end!

HHCC vs Ley Hill

Matt Sims brings the carnage.

It's now over two weeks since Hyde Heath drew their first match of the season, at home against Ley Hill, and with the passing of time has come, inevitably, the fading of memory. Fortunately, Chris' excellent photos on the Hyde Heath website have done a little to prompt my hazy recollections of the match. I think the one of Matt's satisfied admiration of his own scorching cover drive is probably my new favourite cricket image. “Dare thee challenge me, bowler?” it says. “I laugh in the face of your bowling, and dispatch it to the boundary with ferocious elegance, thusly.”

Matt's blistering strokeplay came after a very slow start (I think he took 16 balls to get off the mark), and after our openers had failed, he helped to put on an increasingly confident partnership with Shrimpy, who's in belting form at the moment. While these two were at the crease, the target – about 180 – looked eminently achievable. But as so often, the fall of one wicket led to a clatter, and I ended up having to block out the last couple of overs to secure the draw, some 30-odd runs short.

Earlier, I'd been relegated to third-choice spinner (hardly surprising given recent form) as our severely depleted bowling attack toiled hard against an unthreatening but combative Ley Hill line-up. Jez bowled an extremely long and tidy spell, but only managed the solitary wicket, Shrimpy and Rich both bowled well, but I was again expensive (although I did manage a wicket and, would you believe it, a run-out) and the oppo's total was 30 or so above what it might have been. With more seamers at our disposal (no Brad or Ali today) or a less profligate leg-spinner, perhaps it could have been 5 wins out of 5.

Bourne End vs HHCC

Apologies can only be offered to the cricketing gods for one of the most boring matches I’ve played in for quite some time. With 6 of the team still tired from tour (full report here) the Heath were understandably a little lethargic, and matters were not really helped by a tricksy but sluggish Bourne End pitch and painfully slow outfield.

Charlie won the toss and we elected to field. Airdy, Shrimpton and Jez all bowled well on a seaming pitch, but their top order batted sensibly, keeping wickets in hand in order to take on the change bowlers. Myself, Tim Barnsley and Simon Napier-Munn all went for runs, and although wickets began to fall, Bourne End’s final total of 158 always looked a daunting one given the conditions.

It looked even more daunting when, faced with accurate bowling and excellent catching, our top order completely collapsed. I walked out at 35 for 5, and we were soon 7 down after I ran out Tim Barnsley (I still think it was his fault!) and Spencer spliced one to the slips. James Aird strode to the crease looking confident and we decided to grind the hell out them.

Which, apart from a particularly sweet straight six from Airdy, is exactly what we did. I scored a particularly dreary 5 from 44 balls before being bowled by a full-length away-swinger. Jez was then castled two balls later, and it was left to Airdy and Charlie “The Wall” Samuels to block out the last 4 overs and secure the dullest of draws. Sorry, Cricket!